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Friday, 13 November 2015

Editorial: Five Video Games That Need Sequels

Editorial: Five Video Games
That Need Sequels.

Today I passed a man dressed as a Xenomorph. He was singing, and I was afraid.

So, anyway, video game sequels, right? For some reason - the absence of a loving god perhaps - we are burdened with yearly Call of Duty games, yearly Assassin's Creed sequels, and no less than two totally unasked for sequels to Final Fantasy XIII. But it seems like the video games that actually should get sequels, that really need them, never end up actually getting any.

Here's five video games that we think need sequels, which is odd because I spend at least half of this editorial talking about how awful the majority of these games are.

Alan Wake.

"Didn't you absolutely pan Alan Wake?" You might ask, owing to the fact that I described it as 'clunky, irritating and extremely frustrating' and spent eight hundred plus words talking about how much I hated it, and that's true, I despise that game and it is one of the worst things I've ever played. I hope the company that made it stops making games just as soon as they've made a full-length Alan Wake 2, and no, I am not counting American Nightmare and it disgusts me that you would think that I would, for shame.

The thing is that Alan Wake ended on a cliffhanger, and I don't like cliffhangers. If you don't know that you're definitely getting a continuation, don't end your story on a cliffhanger. If you end your story on a cliffhanger, I want a sequel, so that I can proceed to hate every moment of it and then pronounce that it was an unsatisfying conclusion to the aforementioned cliffhanger. I need that. I deserve that.

Also, I have never been more productive than when I was playing Alan Wake, because it introduced me to a whole new level of procrastination in which I was doing work in order to avoid doing my leisure activity.

L.A. Noire.

L.A. Noire was a great game that I hope to never play again, because while it was interesting and a genuinely unique concept, it's not what I would exactly describe as fun. Playing it felt much like an actual police investigation, which is unfortunate because 'a fun experience for your free time' is not a phrase any police detective has ever or will ever use to describe homicide investigations.

Still, it was a unique idea that has not been reproduced since, and that's a shame. I understand why: I imagine that rendering Greg Grunberg's twitching, liquid face in full motion capture is not only an expensive process, but a terrifying and emotionally scarring one, but I would still very much like to see one. Maybe without any former Heroes actors.

Also, by the time that I finished the game I was just getting good at the car chases and managing not to murder half the population of Los Angeles while chasing down some guy who'd, say, stolen somebody's handbag, and it'd be a shame for those skills to go to waste.


Much like L.A. Noire, Vanquish was also a unique and interesting concept, but unlike L.A. Noire, I actually really enjoyed Vanquish. It was frenetic, exciting, hectic, and the action - which was equal parts absurd, awesome and stressful - never let up. It remains one of my absolutely favourite games. Also, like Alan Wake, it ended on a cliffhanger, and that's definitely not acceptable.

A Vanquish sequel wouldn't even have to change the gameplay much: Refine it a bit, add a couple of new features, and throw in a dozen new enemies and some new bosses, and you'll have a pretty amazing game on your hands.

Get on it, Platinum Games, Bayonetta 3 can wait a few years.

Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic.

Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic is an excellent game, and Knights of the Old Republic 2 probably would have been an excellent game if it hadn't been released only half finished, and then only patched to have little things like an ending a decade later.

For some reason, though, despite the fact that approximately everyone wants a sequel to these two games, the only sequel we've gotten is MMO The Old Republic, which is bad news if you don't like MMOs, but worse news if you do like MMOs and actually put yourself through the torment of playing it. We're here for you. We acknowledge your pain.

If LucasArts - well, Disney now - wanted to, they could probably hire Obsidian or Bioware to do a proper, third game in the series, and it would rake in enough profits for them to freeze George Lucas in carbonite like we always wanted.

Alpha Protocol.

While I personally really enjoyed Alpha Protocol, many people say that it was a terrible game, for a couple of reasons: It didn't include all the promised features, there was essentially no point in putting points into anything other than hand-to-hand combat, the protagonist was a bit bland, and also it was terrible in every single conceivable way and every moment that anyone had to play it was burning, screaming agony.

I did still really enjoy it, though. Love that game.

I think Obsidian Entertainment, who have grown older and wiser under the tutelage of their benevolent parents, Bioware and Bethesda, are now in a position to put together a much better version of Alpha Protocol that addresses all of the problems people had with it, by which I mean an entirely different game with absolutely no similarities to the original, but a vague spy theme thrown in somewhere.

Beta Protocol, maybe. Could be fun. 

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